Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
