He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
