this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
