I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize