every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
