Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
