You're earring is so big in my mouth
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
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