I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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