oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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