i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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