weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Pooping to opera.
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