the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
