haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I have tasted many bathrooms
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize