Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
You ruined the universe
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
