Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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