I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Someone shattered a urinal.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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