i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
then he tried to convert me to islam
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize