Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
