my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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