dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
