I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Randomize
