oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
