So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
