He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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