I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
sick fucks of a feather flock together
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
