a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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