i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
