You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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