I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
