Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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