I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
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I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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