Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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