I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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