I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
