Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
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i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
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As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
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