I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize