sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
