I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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