My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
