evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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