The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
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Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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