i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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