I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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