At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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