WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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