So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
