i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
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i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
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At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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