he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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