just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
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