And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
