ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
