am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Randomize
