belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
