I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
