Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
