We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
