I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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